Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Leet Skillz Redux

Regarding Microsoft's OneDrive/SkyDrive: I'd like to know is how many numskulls are really asking, nay demanding: "Oh PLEASE - put my personal data where any bored script kiddie can get to it!!! I'LL PAY FOR THIS!!". Probably the same people whose demands dumb down Microsoft app functionality at every new release. I bet if Microsoft actually competed on functional technology rather than sweetheart package deals they'd have disappeared long ago.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Who Needs Enemies...?

I think it's time for Trans*people to remove the "T" from the LGBT "community". Continuing association with them only leads to the impression that trans expression is some sort of sex act rather than an expression of identity. Better to be a part of, say, the transhumanism movement that be indelibly identified as a sexual expression. It's a mutual feeling. Gays don't want us because we are considered embarrassing drag queens and they think we're just self-hating gay men anyway. Lesbians don't want us because there's a Johnson (or the ghost of one) and that disqualifies us from any positive consideration. Leave them behind. Given how many times the LGs have betrayed us I don't think that there's any protection to worry about leaving.

Fuck Your Mad Leet Skillz

Anyone out there with mad leet skillz: Sorry to burst yer bubble but MSDOS is so 80's. It's been some little while since we can use spaces in file names. You no longer need to use dots or underscores to simulate them. You can use spaces like normal human beings (likely a very heartbreaking situation, I know).

Monday, July 28, 2014

It's A Lifestyle

I'm perfectly stunned that the term "lifestyle" still exists. It is and should be the property of men of the 70's. For those who don't know who Leisure Suit Larry is, the image I have in mind of anyone who says they have a "lifestyle" is that of an older man pretending to be younger. A cheap spray-on tan, widow's peak balding hair slathered with Just For Men. Gold chains, small left-ear earring, lime-green plaid leisure suit, drives a Camry but insists "the Jag's in the shop" and who calls everyone "Babe". And way, way too much Binaca breath spray and expensive-sounding cheap cologne. Aside from evoking 70's kitsch, it's making a badge of honor about nothing. Okay, it's something in that it's what you do, but if you're doing something you'd be doing no matter what putting a label on it is just plain pretentious.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Every User-Created Internet Forum Ever

Rules:

No personal ads (unless you're a hot woman who the the moderators might want to fuck.)

No advertising businesses, paid events or spam (unless you're a hot woman who the moderators might want to fuck and you're giving the mods a cut.)

No advertising sexual services (unless you're a hot woman who the moderators might want to fuck and you're giving the mods freebies.)

No drama or baseless accusations (unless you're a hot woman who the moderators might want to fuck.)

Members are encouraged to:

Endlessly lecture new posters about the rules of the group and Website - especially if they are not moderators of the group or Website employees.

Regardless of the number of group members only five (5) members may post regularly. The participating members may use whatever means necessary to silence or ignore any others who attempt to participate in discussions.

Start discussions asking questions which will be brutally dismissed by the regulars with rude and sarcastic suggestions to "Google it" thereby ending all possibility of the OP starting an interesting new discussion.

Ruthlessly criticize grammar and spelling of other posters. Bonus points are awarded if the critic has the same grasp of the English language as a concussed Nigerian scammer.

ALL RULES ARE FINAL AND WILL BE ENFORCED RANDOMLY AND SPORADICALLY BY A LOSER WHO USES RANDOM SANCTIONS BASED ON WHIMS AND PERSONAL BIASES IN A MEANINGLESS AND ANONYMOUS INTERNET FORUM TO REINFORCE A SENSE OF PERSONAL ENTITLEMENT, FALSE SENSE OF SELF-WORTH AND UNWARRANTED SELF IMPORTANCE.